With Tim West in Mind

Okay, here goes:

It's CHAMPING at the bit, not CHOMPING at the bit

It's My old STAMPING GROUNDS, not my old STOMPING GROUNDS

Its a BALD FACE lie, not a BOLD FACE lie.

Thank you for your attention in this matter.

Three Dinosaurs in My Shower

This morning I discovered three dinosaurs in my shower.
I went to step in and there they were.
I couldn't help but notice that one was a triceratops,
one was a brontosaurus, and one
was a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
And I thought to myself
"If three different species of dinosaurs can learn to get along
well enough to shower together, then certainly the three races
of mankind
should be able to get along.
But maybe the dinosaurs were just clowning around
and gave themselves names like "Moe, Larry, and Curley"
and were trying to make me laugh by surprising me
so early in the morning.
Or maybe they were all banding together
and plotting against me like Caesar's senators
or maybe more like the Three Musketeers.
"One for all, all for one"-ing their brains out.
Or perhaps they were trying to disguise themselves as
Huey, Dewey, and Louie, or maybe
Crosby, Stills, and Nash
since the Triceratops looked somewhat like David Crosby
and did have something on it's back.
They in no way looked even remotely like the Holy Trinity
so that was out.
But maybe in a bigger sense,
on a broader scale, they were attempting to be a metaphor
for world peace -
one representing the United States, one representing Russia,
and one representing China.

But chances are none of this occurred to my six year old
who left them there from his bath last night.
He can be so silly sometimes.


©Lyle Fales 2006

Will We Eat In Heaven?

"Will we eat in Heaven" I thought
as I headed east into a sunrise.
The sky wasn't blue yet, but a pale purple
and the sun hung there
like a florescent peach.
It vaguely reminded me of a
Sutherland Brothers album cover.
Did I mention my great grandmother's
maiden name was Sutherland?
"We will eat in Heaven" I mused.
We'll eat fruit I suspect.
Fresh right off the tree.
And at night there will be ice cream
and it will cause us to lose weight.
We will eat in Heaven
because there will be joy;
and it will be social -
and as far as the eye can see
no spinach anywhere,
and broccoli will taste like chocolate chip cookies
fresh out of the oven.
We will eat in Heaven
and as we eat peaches they'll burst in our mouths
and the juice will run down our arms
and drip off our elbows,
and then will instantly dry and not be sticky.
We will eat in Heaven.
But never salad.
Not ever salad.
Not ever again.





©Lyle Fales 2009